Notes from Crabtree v Sad Fat Dads Thursday 25th May 2017 (not all events described below are factually correct)

A stunning evening for a game of cricket and having lost the toss SADS were asked to field. Sadly there was no wicket keeping equipment as Williams and new boy Scott chose not to follow the instructions of where to park, instead parked a mile away and then had to drag two heavy bags up the hill. Historically this is always a tough match as Crabtree have Ben (Super Ben) who bats, bowls, fields and generally is a bit too good - think Jan but actually talented!

WG was back to opening bowler status and did a great job of bowling tight and picking up two wickets in each of his overs (2-4).
Mr Bond was keeping his end up with a decent first over and a wicket as Jan took his first catch of the evening as the opposition drilled the ball straight to him at mid wicket. In his second over the wicket must have gone to his head as the leg spin failed to bounce and the batmen punished him with a couple of boundaries (1-17).
Still 21 runs off the first four and three wickets was a great start.

Shaun then marked out his run up and Longbottom reversed away from the stumps making the batsman very wary of the increase in pace that was about to happen! Shaun though had Crabs (ha ha), two best batmen at the crease and therefore the contest was reasonably even as they kept out several snorters that lesser batsmen would have struggled against. Crabtrees danger man "Super Ben" was then dropped by Mr Bond who actually dropped him three times from the one chance. In Shaun's second over the batsmen even had the audacity to spank a six and then a four as Shaun strained to bowl faster (0-15).
New boy Marcus bowled a great first over, aided by Richard Williams who is now a contender for catch of the season, diving (fell) to his right and one handed got his fingers underneath the ball as it fizzed toward the ground. The batsman was shocked, the bowler was shocker, the fellow fielders were shocked and Mr Williams was still struggling to get back up from the ground to realise the feat he had just pulled off! Marcus could have had a second as Graham let Super Ben have another life as he let a lofted drive go straight through his fingers. Again the second over was more expensive with a couple of boundaries as Super Ben made the bowler pay for the dropped catches (1-16).

Jonno bowled magnificently bowling two overs for only three (3) runs which is hugely impressive in a 20 over match. Only Killigrew got such cheap bowling figures while bowling to insert Saddo name trying to look after his average (0-3).
Gary bowled well though his pace meant a couple of boundaries were leaked as the batsmen got frustrated and took a big swing at anything wide (0-15).

Graham similarly had a good couple of overs and was unlucky not to pick up a wicket (0-12). Not sure but I think one of two Shaun drops might have occurred during this spell!
Another new Saddo Scott then bamboozled the opposition with leg spin, real spin not just slow loopy bowling insert Saddo name. This enabled Longbottom to execute an easy stumping as Scott enticed the batsman out of his crease and bypassed him with a ripper. Scott's tight bowling also had a run out as Jan's bullet throw to the top of the stumps was too good The score book gave Scott the run out which technically is not true as that should be a "Jan Longbottom" wicket(1-8)!

Four overs to go four wickets to get and 103 on the board. So the worst thing possible would be to get 3 wickets and let "Super Ben" back to the crease.

Richard Williams the inform left arm swing bowler then bowled a wicket maiden and backed it up with another wicket and only three off his second over. It was an impressive couple of overs although it did play into Crabtree hands as "Super Ben" returned to the crease (2-3).
Jan was asked to finish the bowling for SADS and in his first over he worked the batsman over with a series of random deliveries, beamers, (because there were more than one) bouncers (plural because it bounced twice before it reached the stumps), slower balls and even slower balls (as line and length was a problem). Still a wicket was taken in the first over as Shaun redeemed himself by finally holding on to one. Sadly the wickets falling meant a return of Ben for Jan's second over which meant the fielders immediately scattered to the boundary. While Ben added a few more SADS were able to get at his partner and Jan bowled a beauty hitting the top of off stump (2-9).
13 byes and leg byes and a run out means the sums all add up!

The Crabtree innings ended with the loss of ten wickets while accumulating 115 runs, as we headed to the change around Graham was heard to say something about "that not being a total we would struggle to chase"....


Longbottom and Jan strode to the crease with the desire to get this "easy" total as quickly as possible. Sadly Longy went for one too early and skied it straight to "Super Ben" (their one player who can catch) and was out in the first over. Jan wanting to lose the Boycott moniker for last season's long innings against Killigrew had some early fireworks hitting a couple of sixes and a four and looking very dangerous. Sadly Super Ben recognised the danger and brought himself on to stop the carnage and this paid off as Jan was bowled trying to hit another boundary. Great intent and some lovely shots.
Graham meanwhile was playing himself in, Longbottom was confidently predicting this was classic Graham, getting a feel for the pitch before letting loose with a series of boundaries that would make up for the maiden over he faced without getting the ball off the square! Sadly Longbottom was wrong and changed his commentary to a psychological attack on Mr Peel with a series of vocal rebukes for the lack of runs being scored ("are you (last season) Jan in disguise"). Frustration and getting heckled by your own team can have two outcomes, a rapid acceleration of runs with a flurry of boundaries and a big fuck you to the hecklers or as Graham did, getting out having had a big heave ho. Still in a twenty over match scoring 12 off about 30 balls surely wouldn't be an issue......
Scott meanwhile had being scoring heavily at the other end with his shot. Scott has a lovely shot and Crabtree kept putting the ball in his arc and the ball kept disappearing for boundaries! Crabtree were unable to get Scott out and so his dismissal was actually cricket suicide as he hit his own stumps, a disappointing end to a debut knock that looked like a definite retirement with a healthy strike rate.
Shaun's innings was short but sweet, a four and then out.
When Mr Williams was then caught shovelling the ball to square leg and SADS had fallen well behind the run rate and wickets were falling fast.
Other new boy Marcos seemed to have realised the problem and got a couple of boundaries and ably backed up Gary before losing his wicket.
Gary who got a taste for some abject bowling, scored heavily and brought SADS back on target but sadly got himself retired just when we had momentum.
So 14 off 18 with Bond and Jonno at the crease became 12 off 17 with Jonno run out going for a third off a mis-field. WG reported to the crease and the atmosphere was tense, SADS scrambled a couple more from the over so needed 10 from 12. Back came Super Ben and he tied WG and Bond down which meant we still needed 6 to win from 6 balls. WG caught trying to get the winning runs, Gary returned but at the non-strikers end which left Bond needing 4 from 2 and then 4 from 1, which became a loss having been set an "easy" total.....

A great bowling and fielding performance was not backed up with the bat and the chance to beat Super Ben (Crabtree) went a begging. Special note to WG, Scott and Richard who bowled splendidly and Gary and Scott for getting some runs but Sad of the Match was our very own Super Jan or Jan the Man for catches, a run out, wickets and runs!