SADS v FCC 23/5/2023.

There was an air of confidence as the SADS arrived at Clarence Park on Tuesday to take on the Cunts of Fucking Cheating. The member erect for London Road (Raven branch) was heard to comment that this was the strongest SADS team he had ever seen. Let’s hope his future selection predictions are more accurate.

The toss was duly lost by skipper Robbo and the SADS were given first use of the oven.

With none of our usual Wok Men playing, we were surprised to hear a voice say: “Can you guess what I am yet?” as Glenno took his place behind the stumps. More on him later…

Chenners opened from the Posh Houses End, bowling as beautifully as a York Road residence. Bondy from the other end bore more resemblance to the building site that is the Pavilion. The skipper posted himself to deep cow and was quickly called into action. Growing older has many advantages. Fleetness of foot and reaction time are not two of them and he was hit in the chest before hands and eyes could react. Sorry Bondy!
The bowling continued in this theme with Wilsons S and F and Tembras mixing pies with some decent line and length before the honourable Member served some half track delicacies which the oppo gratefully feasted on.
Glenno was putting in a tidy shift behind the stumps, diving left and right and up and town to deal with Tembo’s assortment. My attention was momentarily diverted as a throw came in from cover, was missed by Glenno, the 2 men backing up and the fielder on the boundary. Cue double teapot from bowler Church and 7 to the score.
Very tidy debut spell from Anupam whose availability I have manually overriden for the remainder of the season. And decent otherwise from Churchy and the final set from Winners and Robbo.

Frazer opened with Anupam and despite constant reminders from the team, Busted and his dog, seemed determined to play a longer format. Anupam (#Available) batted beautifully and despite Marcos and Glenno’s attempts to finish the game inside an over, we were up with the required rate thanks in part to some judicious extras.

We were cheered by the sight of the right honourable member batting at 4. It’s early in the season and both hands remained on the batting resulting in an innings more laboured than Jeremy Corbyn. Gracious as ever, the honourable gentleman retired (exhausted) to the tea room on 6.
Chenners and Bondy biffed it around and kept us in the hunt. Winners batted nicely before falling lbw to “smoking trigger”
Wilson.
This left Churchy with an uphill task. Choosing his gap wedge rather than his trusty 3 iron he chipped and ran a series of 2s when we really needed boundaries. Needing 14 off the last over, matters didn’t improve when he was joined by Robbo (injured that morning knocking one out in the shower) and the image of the 2 of them trying to run a 9 off the last ball is best forgotten a lot quicker than they moved.
So the Cunts Fucking Cheated again.
But pints, chips and camaraderie as ever were the Winners.