A keenly anticipated new fixture to our rota at the picturesque Wheathampstead Cricket Club did not disappoint (result (minor point) notwithstanding) with both the venue and opposition making this a memorable occasion.

Michael and Marcos were particularly keen, arriving at 17h40 and carrying out a detailed pitch and ground inspection.

After many days of scorching heat it was not surprising that there was no sign of moisture in the wicket and all and sundry agreed it was probably best to bat first.

No surprise then that we ended up bowling ...

Special mention at the start of the report for the excellent facilities including an away changing room, 'honesty' bar and practice nets.

Your scribe noted Richard, Michael and Marcos taking advantage with beers already being consumed at 17h55 and this is duly flagged for the disciplinary committee to pursue in due course.

An extended fielding warm up was a new addition to our routine with the 'Coaches' taking a while to sort themselves and this translated into a better than usual fielding performance all round.

Whilst some cricketing scribes like to delve and dwell on statistics and data, I will not bore you with such trivia - the scorecard is on the web site should (although not too sure this season) be helpful if you are one of those dreaded average watchers.

Some points to note ...

Michael made the cardinal sin of chirping Pete's bowling before having a turn himself. A quick study of his figures and his misfortune at bowling to someone who could clearly play a bit will hopefully ensure he is more circumspect in future ... who am I kidding ...

Glenno and Marcos both held on two (really) great catches in the deep clearly benefitting from the practice and beers before the game.

Glenno picked up the first wicket of the afternoon with a completely out of national character quietest LBW appeal of all time. Being truly shocked I had no option other than to raise the dreaded finger.

As specialist umpire and scribe for the day I did my best to try influence (bore) their big hitting batsmen with a safety toolbox talk on the importance of public liability insurance if they continued to insist on whacking the ball into the busy road but alas to no avail.

Quote of the innings went again to Michael who had the audacity to claim he was bowling to his field when he had one of their batsmen caught at long off off a knee high full toss.

Another notable highlight was Richard's loosener ball. I have no idea how old Richard is but after his first ball he looked every year of whatever age he is.

In my notes I have a note to mention Marcos's commitment in the field. I unfortunately have no recollection why I wrote this but hopefully those present will recall why and appreciate the relevance?

Finally from general point of view I need to categorically deny that there is any truth to the rumour that the Saddo's have started an emergency fund to buy Timbo a new cap, although it might be a sound idea ...

Final score 144 / 7.

After narrowly escaping sanction for a truly pedestrian over rate, the change of innings was accompanied by generous helpings of ice cold Pims from our hosts.

So Saddo's into bat (or something vaguely resembling it).

After some tight bowling it took a typical Aussie cross bat slog from Glenno to get the scoreboard moving.

Saddo's early batsmen may have been somewhat unnerved by the ominous 11 players with coach on the back of their shirts that probably meant they were fairly well schooled in the dark arts of the 20/20 format.

Glenno fell shortly after his cross bat slog skying one to extra cover trying to release the pressure.

The undoubted star of the batting performance was Harsh who showed his class (and perfect timing) with a delightful knock retiring somewhere around 25 (whoever was keeping score deciding there was no need to total it up in the book).

Quote of the batting performance came from Bondy who claimed to have been taking the shine off the new ball after a serious of Chinese cuts and edges and being cleaned bowled (to set off the flashing bails).

My notes become a bit hazy here (although dear reader you may say a good while before), but I do recall Richard being castled by one that kept a bit low. He was still shaking his head about it in the car park an hour and half later when we were making our way home.

It wouldn't have been a typical Pete innings (out for 23 for those of you nerds interested in stats) without a call of yes, no, maybe, definitely fucking not and he did not disappoint (on more than one occasion).

After some aggressive hitting, Pete was eventually .................... you guessed it..................... run out coming back for a tight second.

I must mention at this point the umpiring of Tim P and whilst I acknowledge that we are a fully inclusive and tolerant club, he definitely has the gayest 4 signal you have ever seen.

Back to the cricket, Simon holed out to short third man for 9 just as he looked like he was getting settled.

Marcos was stumped for 1 nobly sacrificing himself in the run chase. His dark glasses in the fading light probably also didn't help ...

Despite some pie chucking bowling of note in the last couple of overs ... the chase was a bridge too far.

I would mention the score at this point but again in the scorebook whoever was doing it couldn't bring themselves to tot it up. We were a few short (20 or so I think?)

All in all a very enjoyable evening despite the narrow defeat and definitely one to mark up in your calendars for next year.