Verulam - 01/06/2017 v 1st XI
Class I am happy to report that your fellow students of the game, managed a win during games, on Thursday evening. Chennells had a pass to take the younger lads on an away day and I can report that they also won with the last man hitting a six to win their game ! This meant that the report would have to written by some one else. A lot of staring at boots and hand ringing until it was decided we would share the task with a bit of moderation by the Headmaster.

For the record we loss the toss again and were put into bat on a perfect evening with a setting sun (more of that to come) faster track, short grass and a score of 150 looking like a reasonable target with our line up.

The two svelte looking Sads umpires called play and runs came at a steady rate for the first 4-6 overs only to slow a little with an excellent acceleration towards the end. Three bats got 25+ and there was only one bowlers wicket (sorry Neil but it was q funny from my, umpires, end).

1st XI 125 - 3

Our bowling was q good with reportedly only one wide. A few had a wobble but most of the team survived and with 125 being only a par score, to keep them to 122 to win by three runs was a good effort all round.

Most of us have probably sat on those low chairs at various schools at parents nights only to get that classic question .......Well (insert your child's name here), how do you think you have done ?

Well lets see the answers.....................

Roberts

Did not bat.
Dropped 2 catches.
Bowled like a cu*t.
But loved it as always. Up the Sados!
Oh - and thanks for the catch, Jonno!
Headmasters Comment. Never mind Mark. Please concentrate on your spelling and ooh and that was a fantastic catch - Williams-esque if I say so myself.

Karunanayake

Batting at 3, Harsha scratched around using up valuable overs without hitting it off the square for what seemed like an eternity. A few lucky swings in the end took him to retirement.
With the ball, he had the relatively simple task of defending 12 off the last over, with 9 men on the boundary.
Headmasters Comment. The class would do well to copy Harsha but with Jones and Hook nearly managing to throw balls over the boundary it was closer than you think. Gold sticker Harsha

Peel

I was in a determined mood and played and missed early on against some excellent swing bowling but recovered to score a run a ball 25 before retiring. There was a slight kerfuffle over a run out but this has hopefully been put to bed.

Taking the field, I was asked to bowl first change, James spotting that the batsmen weren't the best and it was a good opportunity for damage limitation. After a dreadful first ball long hop that was rightly dispatched for four I managed to pitch the ball up and keep the scoring down to ones and twos. My fielding was possibly my biggest disappointment. While at cover I managed to spill an easy catch and received a thick lip, not from the disappointed bowler, but from the ball going through my fingers. I was rightly sent to graze in the deep and watched the exciting finish from the safety of the boundary.

Marks out of 10
Batting - 7
Bowling -6
Fielding - 2
Endearing myself to Mr Pointer - 0
Your Humble Servant
Headmasters Comment. Consistently good work Graham. Perhaps you and Pointer should sit at different sides of the class for a while.

Bond

Batting: Bond wasn't called upon to bat due to solid performances by our top & middle order. This was his first positive contribution of the evening.

Bond's had direct involvement in a couple of incidents of note in the field. Jones had seen two chances - one particularly difficult - go down and the temptation to spill a third in order to see what particular shade of crimson he would turn must have been enormous. As it was, fielding at Long Off and with plenty of time to position himself, Bond took a straightforward catch. Later in the innings, fielding at Square Leg as the opposition looked to push the run rate, he took a more instinctive catch as a frustrated batsman slashed at one of Pointer's deceptive trundles.

Bowling: A trademark mixed bag from Bond, whose decision this year to attempt to bowl leg breaks remains somewhat of a work in progress. Spin bowling can be a very effective bowling style but does require the ball to pitch. When the ball doesn't pitch, it is prone to get hammered and the last two balls of his first over were indeed bludgeoned over the boundary ropes for 6. A total of 16 runs came from the over, bringing the opposition right back into the game. However, some handy words of encouragement and a determination to make the ball bounce in future resulted in a notable change of fortunes in his second over. The first ball brought an end to the batsman who had smeared the previous two balls for 12 runs, caught brilliantly by Neal. A few balls later, the new batsman was bamboozled by a ball that pitched perfectly on leg stump and proceeded to do absolutely bugger all in terms of any movement whatsoever. The over went for 3 runs and brought a degree of respectability to his bowling figures.

Bond's last notable contribution was to ensure the pizzas arrived just late enough that 3 or 4 people had had to go home beforehand, thus ensuring those remaining got an extra slice.

Headmasters Comment. Matthew your Maths teacher says your six times tables were looking problematic but in lesson two concentration and application saved you from a detention. The pizzas in the staff room were most welcome.

Simmonds

Batting. Simmonds in at 4. Pitch is slow as is Simmonds run rate, finding the fielders with ease. Then after 2 quick 4s on comes the pie thrower. simmonds licks his lips as he loves pies. Leg side loopy pie is launched in. Think it's beef and Onion, my favourite! Simmonds takes a big swipe at the steaming pie, it hits the bottom of his bat. Keeper takes a good catch. Simmonds, with 14 runs to his name, shakes his head, I xxxxxxxx hate pies, he mutters.

In the field, simmonds was put in 'the wilderness' at deep mid wicket, sun in his eyes, penance for late availability response! 12 overs in and not a touch of the ball. Then suddenly 2 6's fizz over his head. '6 man' tries for a greedy third but skies it to deep mid wicket. Simmonds made up ground dived and, Legs akimbo, made the catch (new trousers, and almost balls, please). Simmonds gets 2 wickets for 7 runs (following some fumbling of balls in the outfield! ). Harsha bowls final over, 9 required. Second ball hit to simmonds at deep mid wicket, batsmen go for a desperate second, Simmonds throws in and James whips off the bails with mesmerising speed. They think it's all over, but no, a wicket is left with the big hitting opener back at the crease - oh dear, thinks Michael, why did we get that run out!

Headmasters Comment. Welcome back Simmonds, although your poor attendance has been noted by the authorities. Nonetheless your batting improved and your fielding was excellent and the catch was 'catch of the season ' so far. ( A Spitfire catch - came very fast out of the sun). Oh and your dismissal was very funny !!

Hollerton

Highlights: a couple of tight overs, dismissal of one of the openers. Lowlights: bowling a wide (or, as I tell myself, the ball just did too much in the air).

I think that special mention should go to the umpires who stood with the fairness and wisdom of Solomon, despite entreaties from both sides for leniency or rigour in awarding wides. Also for their ability to count up to 6 most of the time.

Once again, my batting was impeccable, refusing to yield my wicket (not out in all matches this season)...ok, you can moderate that to "WG didn't bat again"!

Headmasters Comment. John. Cometh the hour ....cometh the man. Your time will come. See Bondy for anything to do with 'six', he's very good at them !!!

Longbottom

I scored (I didn't see Carol there, damn !! Ed ) and having made a decent start we kind of stagnated so I urged the batsmen in the middle to accelerate the run rate as we were struggling to post a total!
When it was my turn to bat I clobbered 25 in short time which might go some way to making up for running out Mr Jones....

Bowling selections went well, fielding positions were only spoilt by left handers.
Dropped a catch from a tickle to WG bowling but executed a couple of good run outs.
Skippered us to victory with hugely cynical fielding positions in the last over when they needed boundaries!
Thought Harsha was SAD of the match with batting and great bowling at the death to win us the match.

Headmasters Comment. James keep up the good work but you wont be able to take those crib sheets of yours into the exams !

Winfield

Batting - Longbottom carefully enabled Jones to get run out, so he had a faster runner (me). Came at crease in over 17 with not enough runs on the board. A few runs contributed, but mainly quick running to keep Longbottom on strike, who got some lusty blows in and enabled approx 30 runs in the last 4 overs.

Bowling & Fielding - my radar was out of line, especially to a left handed batsman. Did enough for run rate economy and contributed a magnificent wide in the 'Harmison to second slip' league.

Headmasters Comment. Some storming work and only eight runs from two overs Tim. However you will have to accept a detention for not wearing school uniform. That red and Yellow Spanish baseball cap was both hideous and just not us!!!

Hook

Umpired with dignity and aplomb. Not required to bat - just as well as nearly running a three last week nearly killed me. Bowling was a usual mixture of full tosses and fired in full Yorkers and I escaped lightly against their formidable batting at that point. Fielding was its current usual struggle and spent most of the time staring into the setting sun praying to see the ball. Managed to take a sharp catch at square leg which if I didn't catch would have bruised my 'ego' and caused me to limp for a week. It was that forceful that I didn't notice I had bruised my middle finger until I went to say good night to the boss.

Headmasters Comment. Committed and 100% Jonno. Enough said.

Jones

Saw off some excellent bowling from the VerLum quick. Was not able to see off the calling of his captain and was run out taking one for the team. To be fair to the skipper sacrificing the Corporal led to three 4s in four balls so was probably the correct call.

The leading wicket taker for three seasons on the bounce was some way off the pace after three games, with zero wickets. So the Corporal was looking to get back in the hunt. If the Corporal knows anything it's where he gets hit, so Roberts moved into square leg, 007 sent out to deep behind the bowler and Tim into mid-on/ cover. Third ball blasted down Peel's throat. He catches it, parries it into the air, falls over and the ball lands harmlessly. Bloods dripping from Yips lip would suggest it really was down his throat. Second over and the Corporal is driven to square leg. Roberts dives like a salmon (think Alex rather than fish) gets a hand on it and drops it. The muttering from the Corporal gets loader. Two balls latter and the Corporal is driven high above his head. The ball travels high but 007 (licensed to spill) is under it. Yours Bondy is the thought. The Corporal prepares for further expletives but no, Bondy takes a magnificent catch. Wags are heard saying they would have liked to have seen the Corporal's face if Bondy have dropped it. Let me tell you, you would not have wanted to see that face or hear the accompanying comments. Still 1 wicket on the board, and back in the game. 6/10

Headmasters Comment. Michael, Michael, Michael. What can be said that already hasn't? As a reward for your first wicket you can be milk monitor this week.


Pointer

Sometimes a joke can be taken too far, and putting Pointer as an opener (again) is a case in point. However, rather than immediately gifting the opposition a catch as previously, he miraculously knocked the ball around a bit (including a drive for 4) first, before gifting the opposition a catch. The catch was (unbelievably) dropped and during the confusion the resultant run out meant the long walk to the Clarence Park patio chairs. To up the ante, Pointer then played the sympathy card by having his family come & watch, and come the Saddoes' turn on the field our opposition's batsmen graciously gifted a return of 1-10 over his 2 overs to the applause of his children. (Unusual betting activity in the Far East is being investigated at the time of going to press.) Usual service will undoubtedly be resumed next time. With every other Saddoe, Pointer then returned to zealously guard the rope as part of the winning "No 4s" strategy.

Headmasters Comment. Tim your bowling was excellent. I bet that someone had 6/1 on you scoring a boundary. Kerching !. Cakes in the headmasters office !

Head prefect - Harsha
Heads / Tails - James
Head 'Banned' - Tim - terrible cap
Above my Head - Bondys fifth and sixth ball - the second of which ended up in the tennis courts
Head of steam - Marks mutterings during his overs.
Head over heels - Neal's catch
Give Head - Carol
Come to a head - Exciting last over.
Headmasters report - END